I celebrated a Messianic Passover Seder this year for the
first time. It is a blending of a traditional Jewish Seder with the Christian
belief that God’s promise of a savior was fulfilled in Jesus. Many have told me
that it was a very meaningful and thought provoking experience, but due to lack
of invitation and maybe some concern over cultural appropriation, I’ve never
participated. This year, with a little nudge from my wife, I decided I would
give it a try.
It was a somewhat awkward affair in many ways. Many of those
at the table were strangers to us, though we all attended the same church.
There was lots of jokes to break the tension that comes with a scripted meal
eaten with strangers drawn from a tradition that none of us grew up in. However,
it was also beautiful: a slow symbolic walk through God’s promises in the book
of Exodus. I have no knowledge or authority to speak on the millennium of
traditions rooted in this celebration, but I can tell you that it left an
unusually strong impression on me.
I was struck particularly with the acknowledgement of suffering
and pain that was so essential to the story. Salt water to represent tears and
bitter herbs to represent the terrible hardship of slavery are served as part
of the meal. They are a reminder that life is a mixed bag, and that redemption
is sweet because we remember what we have been saved from. An essential part of
Passover is remembering the two hundred years of slavery the Israelites endured
before being redeemed. How many tears where shed? How many where born and told
of the prophecy of God’s deliverance, and then ultimately died before seeing
those words fulfilled? How many lost faith, or struggled to believe while
suffering daily under the torment of their oppressors? Why is God so slow? Will
he ever remember us? These questions asked over and over again for centuries,
but the prophecies were still told and the hope remained. Their memories were
long and their faith was deep, trusting that God is at work while letting Him
see the tears that were shed in the waiting.
At the end of the meal we were sharing our reflections and
it occurred to me that I’ve never really celebrated hardship before, certainly
not in a formal way. During Easter we acknowledge “Good” Friday and The
Passion, but it is primarily a focus on the end of the story, the victorious
resurrection. Christmas is all about the coming salvation, our God sending his
son as an act of love to live among us. There are more traditions in the High
Church that lead us through these seasons, but those were mostly lost to me in
my upbringing in an evangelical church. In my experience there was very little
focus on our suffering as a people, a people who needed God’s intervention. I
think our memories are shorter than the Israelites because of this. We want to
focus on the victory, the salvation, our reborn selves without the waiting and
longing that is most of our lives.
Short memories produce weak faith. I find that the longer I
live the more opportunities I have to see God’s faithfulness carried out. I can
remember how I wrestled with wanting to be married and the difficult journey
full of the many heartbreaks before I met my amazing wife. I remember how lost
and alone I have felt in different seasons only to eventually be brought into
community and purpose. If I let my memory lapse, if I forget those times of
pain, then I will suffer without hope when the inevitable loss that we
experience in this world breaks upon my life again. However, if I remember
God’s faithfulness, reflecting regularly on the depth of pain and hardship God
has already delivered me from, I will grow in faith and conviction that my
deliverer is coming. There is beauty in hardship, sweetness in pain, and
tenderness in being broken. Let us remember each tear we shed in the waiting
while we hope, yearn, and ultimately believe that God sees us and will redeem
our hurt for his Glory just as he has for our ancestors.
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