Addiction

I've been doing a lot of reflecting over the past week about what I've learned in my first year as a nurse, and I have two very simple truths to put out there. The first is that there is truly someone for everyone. There may be some deep truth in this about our need for love and connection driving us together, but frankly, it's more just a casual observation. I see couples walk into the ER and all I can think is..."huh, well I'm really glad you two found each other." Even more "normal" looking couples I find intriguing. Getting to watch how people react and respond in relationships in the midst of stress is just fascinating, ranging from comical to disturbing. All that to say is if you're out there looking for "the one"...well, I have seen some pretty impressive proof that you should keep your hopes up...ish.

The second, and maybe more poignant truth is that addiction is an incredibly powerful force. Daily I deal with all types of addicts from 20 year alcoholics to newbie druggies. Some of these patients are outright assholes and others are actually quite pleasant, bordering on comical if you can divorce yourself from the tragedy of the situation. I've seen relapsed addicts who had been clean for year and I've seen guys who couldn't make it for a day. What it comes down to in almost every case is that these aren't awful people, they've just lived awful lives. 

So we can either approach them with pity or with judgement...or we can acknowledge that we are all addicts right along side them. Yup, I have come to believe that we are all addicts in our own way. I know friends who are addicted to exercise, to food, to porn. I freely admit that I have an addiction to being busy and filling every second. Sure, my habits are not as destructive and are generally not as chemically driven (to an extent), but they are certainly present and active in my life...and my life has been pretty good. The point is we all lean on different things to get us through life. We have an underlying need that we seek to fill, and most of us reading this probably were raised in such a way that those appetites were steered towards more seemingly innocuous things such as TV, eating, sports, etc. Like it or not though, it's still an addiction in its own way. Until we acknowledge this propensity in ourselves I don't think we can really ever have a healthy heart towards alcoholics or drug users. 

I'm not saying you should compare your struggles side by side. Don't every do that. To have every fiber of your being physically, mentally, and spiritually hung up in a substance that is not so slowly killing you isn't something many of us can relate to. But we do need to get off our platform and remember that we are cut from the same clothe, and the underlying need is the same. To be loved, comforted, accepted, made to know that you belong and are valued...

I am not a drug and alcohol specialist. I am no counselor or therapist. I have no experience with drugs personally, but I do care very much about these issues. Every day I deal with addicts, and it gets to me. I've yelled at some and held others hands. I've referred to some as "worthless" (the worst thing you can say about somebody, ever, in my book) and had pity on others, but I'm learning that I have more in common with these patients then I care to admit. We share a common need: to be healed by one who knows us better than we know ourselves. I remind myself daily that God sees us both in exactly the same light...and then I fail at loving them well, but I'm getting better.